I got blisters on ma fingers! <name that quote> No seriously, my fingertips are all burny from cutting up thai chili peppers. I make nice guacamole for my family on Thursday nights. At least they say it's nice. Maybe they just don't want to discourage me. Fuckers. I wouldn't know how it tastes because you don't eat when you've lived too long. Just kidding, guacamole is my favorite. All chunky with lime and onion and peaches and honey. Mixing fruit with veggies is fun. Except my hands will stink of onion until next thursday. Then I'll cut up another.

someday soon, when I get my headspace right I'll make art, not just doodles.

So Meat Loaf is using his last name nowadays... Aday. Meat Loaf Aday. I saw it on a movie preview. Then I looked at my sister and said "Yeah... well, he looks like he EATS a meatloaf a-day." I mean, come on. Can you think of a more ironic name for a big dude? I love Meat Loaf, actually. He's talented and hilarious. He's not really that fat, he's just big-boned. I love fat people.

gah, I think I've been accidentally erasing people's comments. y'all are so sweet though. it's too early.

Marilyn Manson is fat, now.

Lady gaga might have a small dick.

and I think I'm okay with myself for some reason. It seems like no one is exactly what they want to be, and that's not a deal-breaker. I think it makes them both hotter. But then again I have a thing for chubby people and intersexuals.

I wanna put up more pictures. Got lots.

My life's a lot better than it was before. I'm not at fake art school which was killing me slowly. Now I'm a yoga instructor. Well, I haven't taught anywhere professionally yet, but I'm on the way. My guru is awesome. A sixty year old Persian man who curses like a sailor and teaches downward dog like a demon. I think I've found my Pai Mei.


I'll scan things soon because I like feedback on my work. Everyone I know here is pretty nice and helpful.

I just don't know
how a human
can trust anything.




Hi yall. I'm back (kind of). I guess I'm still not all there. I'm busy being Faust right now. Sold my soul (went to scad, the commercial, career-oriented tradeschool version of an art school. I wanted lofty artistic ideals, not pretty websites and thorough resume`s. Didn't realize that's what I'd get when I came here. No research, my fault). Photographers make money. Hope I can forgive myself. If I die tomorrow, what did I live for? Assurance of an upper-middle class income? I hope not.

Try as I might, I'll ever fail
to purge certain people
from my heart

My past,
a spectre that seethes a tsumani's arc
o'er my wet, shiverred shoulders,
across the shoreline of my back

The imp-eyed, nimble-fingered, woman from the hills
Said she was queen of the faeries
predicted the end of the world (there was Mayan lineage to her blood)
gave me green beads and a crystal
sold me a sweet peice for ten dollars
and packed its bowl with her very own stash
We smoked
In a golden Mushroom haze, She told me I had roots.
I have to believe her.